Thursday, March 26, 2009

"Are you miserable?"

Justin asked me this morning if I was miserable. I guess the reason he asked is because last night I went out to dinner with some friends from work, I didn't get home until late and then Anna decided to wake up at weird hours and Brice woke up crying and coughing at 6-something this morning.

I fed Anna when I got home around 11pm and then thought she might sleep later into the morning. Not so much, she woke up at her usual time of around 3am. Then, because Justin is not good at alarm clock etiquette, I thought I would go sleep in the guest room so he could "snooze" as many times as he wanted before getting up at 6 for a meeting today. And I could maybe sleep for three more straight hours.

Well, for whatever reason Anna woke up at 5am crying, and I went in to find her on her back. I flipped her back to her stomach, put her paci in and went back downstairs to go back to sleep. Then around 6, I hear Brice upstairs crying and coughing and whining to Justin. I don't know what Justin told him but he went back to his room. So, I think to myself, maybe he'll go back to sleep and they will both sleep til 8am.

Yeah, right!

Anna starts crying at 7am. What?! She never does this. I go into her room to find her on her back again and smelling something awful. I just wanted a few minutes to get myself together so again I flip her on her tummy, put the paci in and stumble back to my bed, upstairs, where Justin is still sleeping. He tells me he's had a headache all night.

Anyway, around 7:30am Brice comes back into our room to see who's awake. At this point we both were. I decide to go ahead and get up and get Brice some breakfast and fix Anna's bottle. Then at 8am, she still hasn't gotten up so I go in to wake her up. I notice there is poop on her gown and the crib. Ahhh!

So, get her up, clean her up, feed her. Justin comes downstairs dressed for his meeting and asks me, "Are you miserable?". Also, it is pouring rain outside. I tell him "No, I'm not miserable, but the weather isn't helping."

I then start thinking about all of the blogs I have been keeping up with. Three of them have either lost a baby or have very sick kids right now. I look at my own children who are home with me, healthy, and smiling. I get to clean up a little bit of poop, empty the dishwasher and watch Brice make Play-Doh creations. So, really, I am fantastic.

Yes, it is raining and we have no where to go today. So, the house is already in total disarray. And by the end of the day I probably won't be able to step foot in Brice's room or the playroom without stepping on a toy. It will annoy me to no end. Mainly, because I am tired and just want to sleep through the night, one night.

But then I will remind myself, I could be sitting in a hospital room, rocking my sick baby whose heart has a dangerous arrhythmia (, or in the PICU at another hospital with my baby who has a serious infection and may not live. This family also lost twin girls two years ago. If you go to the website and type in rowynnix, you will find their story. I will say prayers for them throughout the day.

And I will pray for patience and be grateful for the gifts He has given me. Like Play-Doh, which Brice is now asking me to go help him with. He is also asking me to make him a ham and cheese at 10:15am.

So, again, I am not miserable. Just very tired and very thankful.

1 comment:

gmcks said...

Thanks...I needed that...prespective