Thursday, December 31, 2009

That's All Folks!

Good year.Good night.
See you in 2010!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

He Lead Me

There have been times in my life when the Lord has lead me or I have felt His very strong presence around me. 1)When I was taking my nursing boards. I got to question 68 and this sense came over me that I was only going to have 75 questions. That I had passed and I could relax. 2)When I was in labor with Brice. I had been pushing for three hours and no one could figure out why he was not coming. Finally, the midwife told me to lay on my side for 30 minutes to see if his head would turn. As she left the room and Justin went to inform our family of what the latest was, I knew. I knew I would have a C-section. I was so upset but knew I would be taken care of.

Last year, on this day, the Lord lead me to Anna's room when she cried out a second time. I was tired, frustrated because she had been a "lazy" eater all day, but nevertheless I went to her. I knew the eating was important. For her heart. In order for her little VSD to close she had to get bigger and in order to get bigger she had to eat. But all day that day, she hadn't eaten well. Her color was off to me but I pushed it aside instead of listening to my mother's/nurse's instinct. So, I picked her up out of her bassinet and offered her milk. A few sucks and then asleep again. In my head I thought, "Please, Anna, you have to eat. You have to get bigger." I then put her on my shoulder to rock her and in my postpartum mess of a brain thought about if she didn't eat, which meant heart surgery, and then what if there were complications to the surgery and she didn't make it. I prayed to God, "Please, I can't put this perfect girl in a grave." And at that moment, she stopped breathing.

He lead me to think those thoughts because He knew His plan. That was His way of telling me something was about to happen and I was going to have to have my game face on.

He knew she would be fine and a year later I would sit here and type these words while tears run down my face.

Justin says it's just a date and today is just another day. He is right but on that day a year ago, I remember every little detail. I guess part of me still feels guilty for not listening to my gut. There is not an evening that goes by when I put Anna to bed that I don't think about some part of that night or experience. Whether it be when I was rocking her, or the ambulance ride or not coming home until 4 am without my baby girl. Or maybe it's the ten days we spent at the hospital with her and shuffling Brice back and forth {insert more guilt here}, or wondering how she got so, so sick.

I am so thankful that she won't remember it. I am so glad that she has changed so much since she was just two weeks old. I of course don't see the same baby that I did a year ago. I still have the gown she was wearing and will forever. I know what a different place I could be in right now. I could be typing about grief and the emotional struggle of losing a child. But I am not. I will turn these tears into happy tears. Tears of gratitude and overwhelming love. I told my Mom one night driving home from the hospital that I feel I owe God. I told her that I wish my love for my children was enough to protect them always. She responded by saying that I must raise my children to know Him and to follow Him and that, in a way, I will be "repaying" God.

And so, I will let Him lead me and my family through the thick and thin, knowing that He knows what is right and good and perfect. And Anna is just that.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Christmas Morning Cheer

Santa came and Brice was so excited! He told everyone how sneaky Santa was this year by leaving a candy cane on the INSIDE of his door instead of the outside like last year. He was also pretty excited that the stockings were so stuffed, they had to be left on the floor instead of being hung back up. Santa brought Brice a dart gun, a sailboat, and a medieval times castle. As for Anna, the elves made her some busy balls, and a Chatter Telephone. The best part of the morning was when Anna eyed Santa's left over cookie and stuffed the whole piece in her mouth! I am so thankful that I was able to be off this Christmas since Brice was so pumped for everything!I would say that is a pleased grin!
me with my annual Nutcracker
Other favorite gifts include his baseball bat, a tub of dinosaurs, a Navy Seal boat, and Gorilla Mountain. He got a watch too and has been telling us the time minute by minute! I am sure every toy will get some love by the end of the holiday break! He has already asked three times when school starts again!

We hope you all had a very Merry Christmas. We are looking forward to 2010!

Sunday Snapshots: Mommy

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Christmas in Charlotte

What do we do when we go to Charlotte, you ask? Well, I will tell you. At Christmastime we...

...roll around on the big open floor.Jump on Jonathan.
Wear Grandma's Christmas bell.
Exchange gifts and enjoy each other's excitement!
get cool gifts from our godfather
and from Aunt Blaire
play with Grandma while Great Grandma watches
eat lunch
at the barstools like we always do at Aunt Deb's house.
We also drink beer.
And that concludes what we do at Aunt Deb's house in Charlotte. Basically, we play, enjoy each other's company and eat, a lot. We always have a great time and are so thankful that so many of our family members are able to join us there. Last year, we weren't able to see Great Grandma and Great Grandpa at Christmas because of Anna's birth. And, let me tell you, it just wasn't Christmas without them. So, I enjoyed this year, depsite the fact that Anna and I didn't sleep so well!
Have no fear, the rest of the pictures will come. I have enjoyed being away from blogging/facebook world and I am going to take my time with all this posting! Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Like a Weed

Anna had her one year check-up today and all looks good!

Weight: 19 lbs 12.5 oz (27%)
Length: 30.5 inches (87%)

So, she won't be turning face forward anytime soon in her car seat. The pediatrician said it isn't the law yet but it is coming that we should leave them rear facing until TWO! Not that it matters with Anna because she isn't even 20 lbs.

Other things she is up to

~waves bye-bye
~makes "quack, quack" sound when she sees a duck
~knows a cow says "moo"
~took four unassisted steps last night! Whoo hoo! It's getting closer
~says mama, dada, and buh for Brice
~dances in her car seat when there is a good song on
~still loves to give hugs
~loves her new baby
~throws her food off her tray and then shakes her head back and forth because she knows not to!
~loves to load and unload blocks into bucket

She is still a very happy little girl almost all of the time and growing like a weed before our very eyes!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Merry Christmas to Me!

It was not intended to be my Christmas present but I'll take it! I've been wanting a dining room for a long time mainly because I want to display all of my beautiful china that we received for wedding gifts. We ordered it online and weren't sure just how long it would take to get here. Well, it arrived on Saturday evening, the day before Anna's party! It worked out nicely. I find myself walking around the corner just to peek at it! I love it and was seriously like a kid on Christmas when it arrived, "playing" with my new gift. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME! Thanks, Santa!
P.S. Today is December 17th, the day Anna was supposed to be born. It was ingrained in my mind for so long that I just can't forget about it. Instead, it was the day that Brice went to school with my mom for his party and caught a nasty little thing called RSV. Please wash your children's hands when they get home from school especially if they are going to be around a new baby. It can save a life!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009


Justin and I are so proud! Brice played the role of Joseph in his school Christmas program today. What a big role. His classmate Morgan played the role of Mary. She was really into the fact that she and Brice were "married" and tried to hold his hand as they walked out of the door. Brice being the romantic that he is, quickly pulled his hand away! I asked him later if they were supposed to hold hands and he said, "NO!". He did a great job! Afterwards, his class had a party which Anna enjoyed just as much as everybody else!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Happy First Birthday, Anna!

Party supplies

Yummy cake by Publix (can't beat a Publix cake!)
Pretty birthday girl

Rocking chair from Aunt Blaire
First baby doll from Mommy, Daddy, and Brice
The girl was in love, she couldn't wait to get it out of the box and then she hugged and kissed it!
Unlike her brother, she was not so sure of her cake!
Birthday twins-December 13th
After the party, enjoying one of her gifts, a purse with accessories, thanks Aunt Kelly
Thank you to those who came to Anna's birthday and to those who have sent their birthday wishes! We love you all and are so proud of our little Anna. I know she will look at these pictures one day and know for sure just how loved she is!

Birthday Girl

A year ago today you came flying into our lives. You are such a sweet being and so cheerful! Although the weather today is cold and dreary, you have been the light of our lives for a whole year now. While I've been emotional about you turning one, it is not because I don't want you to celebrate your birthdays. It is because I know it will be hard for me to remember just how you are right now. I love you so much little girl! HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY!

I will post some from the party soon!