Thursday, August 5, 2010

Screeching Halt

As I am sure most of you can tell from my posts, I have been ready for school to start for a while. We had a very busy summer but I didn't feel like we over did it either. I truly enjoyed spending time at the pool with the kids, a few camps and then of course the beach. And now, here we are three days shy of the first day of school. We met Brice's teacher this afternoon and I can tell he is excited and of course a tad nervous. Who isn't when they are starting a new year, not to mention a new school?

And, I'm not gonna lie. It was weird for me. As we were walking into the school, I couldn't deny the lump in my throat and the heartbeat in my ears. I'm just so shocked at how quickly these years have flown by. I felt like I was back at Dolvin Elementary meeting my teachers and finding out where I was going to sit in class. I feel like I want one more year with Brice even though he is more than ready. I was standing in the bus line to get the information, looking around at all the kids, and wanted to point a remote at my head and rewind it full of memories of Brice. I just know all too well how this works. He will start kindergarten on Monday and then by Friday he will be walking across the stage with a diploma in his hand. I wish I had some brakes sometimes because I would put a screeching halt on all this growing up so fast.

I didn't think I was going to be emotional about this but now I am finding that I am. I don't want to be, I just am. It's not the fact that he's going to school or riding the bus, it's just that it goes so fast and I don't want to want anything back. I want to do it right the first (and only) time but sometimes life seems to just goes too fast for me to even stop and evaluate if I'm doing a good job or not. I know Brice is going to do a good job, no question. I just hope that he and Anna have no question about whether or not I'm doing a good job.

I guess we'll find out next Friday, right? You know...when he graduates!!


Janna said...

You are an AWESOME mom...2 awesome kids..heck you gave one of them life twice! You gave up your career to be home with them and they will LOVE you for that....he will grow sucks mine is doing it too...but its so fun to see them enjoying new things....Parker is a ball of light when he comes home and tells me all the cool stuff he's learned...deep can do it! Plus it'll make the time you do spend together that much more enjoyable :)

chbaker said...

OH Jen- you make me cry reading this. I AGREE! I feel the same way, only you put it into words better than I do. Can't wait to hear how his first day is. Knox is excited too.